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	<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine~~; HTML converted to wikitext. Formatting may be imperfect.~~ -->		<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine -->
	~~<div class="~~thumb ~~tright">~~		https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/7/79/Newspaper.PNG/250px-Newspaper.PNG

	~~<div class="thumbinner" style="width:252px;">~~		''The Local Newspapes''

	[[~~File:Newspaper.PNG\|[[File:Newspaper.PNG\|250px~~\|~~thumb~~]]]]		'''News articles''' are often used for humor purposes in [[Homestar Runner (body of work)\|Homestar Runner]] cartoons. They are usually written about bizarre stories and occurrences that are largely irrelevant to the toon's main plot. Some must be decompiled or viewed as a Flash file to be read. Several of the articles contain some variation of the line "His mother was very proud".
	~~<div class=~~"~~thumbcaption~~">

	~~<div class~~=~~"magnify">~~		== Appearances ==

	~~[[File:Newspaper.PNG\|[[File:magnify-clip.png\|15px\|thumb]]]]~~		* Email [[sb email 22]] — As well as an article about [[Strong Bad]] offending the royal family in England, the issue of ''[[The Guardian]]'' that appears at the end of the email also includes stories titled "Cricket Still Pretty Weird Sport", "[[The King of Town\|King of Town]] Eats Treacle", and "Officer Actually Named Bobby".
			* Email [[privileges]] — In [[Fretmagic]] magazine, there is an article about [[Gary Palaroncini]] mastering "the hardest chord ever", which apparently requires 11 fingers to perform.
	~~</div>~~		* Email [[stunt double]] — There is a newspaper called [[The Local Newspapes]] that has an article about a polar bear who wandered from the North Pole and interrupted a baseball game, injuring [[LEMKE\|Mark Lemke]]. The headline is covered with a taped-on piece of notebook paper that reads "[[Lowercase i's\|MiSSiNG]] TAPE STOLEN!!! [[Dangeresque (character)\|Dangeresque]] seen on the case. For real."
	~~The Local Newspapes~~		** This same newspaper appears in [[dangeresque 3]], with the notebook paper reading "[[Perducci\|PERDUCCI]] IS THE BAD GUY".
			* Email [[colonization]] — In the book about the colonization of [[Strong Badia]], Strong Bad is seen reading a newspaper with a "RENT FOR SALE!" ad and a page saying "[[Homestar Runner\|Homestar]] declares [[Eggs\|eggs]] not a fruit."
	~~</div>~~		* [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — [[Marzipan]] is reading a newspaper titled "The Latest News", which features an "article" about crime possibly being on the rise in [[Free Country, USA]]. The article is repeated 8 times in order to fill up the paper.

	~~</div>~~

	~~</div>~~
	'''News articles''' are often used for humor purposes in [[Homestar Runner (body of work)\|Homestar Runner]] cartoons. They are usually written about bizarre stories and occurrences that are largely irrelevant to the toon's main plot. Some must be decompiled or viewed as a Flash file to be read. Several of the articles contain some variation of the line "His mother was very proud".

	~~<span id="appearances"></span>~~
	~~== <span class="mw-headline">Appearances</span> ==~~

	* Email [[sb email 22]] — As well as an article about [[Strong Bad]] offending the royal family in England, the issue of ''[[The Guardian]]'' that appears at the end of the email also includes stories titled ~~"~~Cricket Still Pretty Weird Sport~~"~~, ~~"~~[[The King of Town\|King of Town]] Eats Treacle~~"~~, and ~~"~~Officer Actually Named Bobby~~"~~.
	* Email [[privileges]] — In [[Fretmagic]] magazine, there is an article about [[Gary Palaroncini]] mastering ~~"~~the hardest chord ever~~"~~, which apparently requires 11 fingers to perform.
	* Email [[stunt double]] — There is a newspaper called [[The Local Newspapes]] that has an article about a polar bear who wandered from the North Pole and interrupted a baseball game, injuring [[Mark Lemke]]. The headline is covered with a taped-on piece of notebook paper that reads ~~"~~[[Lowercase i's\|MiSSiNG]] TAPE STOLEN!!! [[Dangeresque (character)\|Dangeresque]] seen on the case. For real.~~"~~
	** This same newspaper appears in [[dangeresque 3]], with the notebook paper reading ~~"~~[[Perducci\|PERDUCCI]] IS THE BAD GUY~~"~~.
	* Email [[colonization]] — In the book about the colonization of [[Strong Badia]], Strong Bad is seen reading a newspaper with a ~~"~~RENT FOR SALE!~~"~~ ad and a page saying ~~"~~[[Homestar Runner\|Homestar]] declares [[Eggs\|eggs]] not a fruit.~~"~~
	* [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — [[Marzipan]] is reading a newspaper titled ~~"~~The Latest News~~"~~, which features an ~~"~~article~~"~~ about crime possibly being on the rise in [[Free Country, USA]]. The article is repeated 8 times in order to fill up the paper.
	** This newspaper appears again in [[secret recipes]].		** This newspaper appears again in [[secret recipes]].
	* Email [[time capsule]] — There is a current newspaper clipping with an article about a boy named Geoff, who saved a turtle named Slowbie by finding it in his shoe.		* Email [[time capsule]] — There is a current newspaper clipping with an article about a boy named Geoff, who saved a turtle named Slowbie by finding it in his shoe.
	* Email [[portrait]] — A ~~"~~rich-guy newspaper~~"~~ resembling [[The Wall Street Journal]] is shown, with stories about mulligatawny stew rising in the markets and about large cell phones making a 4th quarter comeback as the ~~"~~it~~"~~ toy of the [[Decemberween]] season. A lower headline reads ~~"<u>~~Banks have [[Unnecessary Quotation Marks\|'money']]~~</u>"~~.		* Email [[portrait]] — A "rich-guy newspaper" resembling [[The Wall Street Journal]] is shown, with stories about mulligatawny stew rising in the markets and about large cell phones making a 4th quarter comeback as the "it" toy of the [[Decemberween]] season. A lower headline reads "Banks have [[Unnecessary Quotation Marks\|'money']]".
	* Email [[candy product]] — Strong Bad is reading Da NewsPapes in the [[Bathroom of the Brothers Strong\|bathroom]]. The two shallow articles visible on the papes employ many words to say, essentially, that ~~"~~stuff continues to happen in the world~~"~~ and ~~"~~famous people did some stuff~~"~~.		* Email [[candy product]] — Strong Bad is reading Da NewsPapes in the [[Bathroom of the Brothers Strong\|bathroom]]. The two shallow articles visible on the papes employ many words to say, essentially, that "stuff continues to happen in the world" and "famous people did some stuff".
	* [[Happy Hallow-day]] — Homestar, dressed as a newsboy, is seen selling newspapers. The headlines include ~~"~~Halloween Night missing~~"~~, ~~"~~Citizens mobilize to save holiday~~"~~, and ~~"~~In unrelated news, this newsboy get-up is not my Halloween costume~~"~~. Later, [[Homsar]] is also seen with newspapers in an Easter egg, this time with the headline ~~"~~Eggs Tree! Eggs Tree!~~"~~		* [[Happy Hallow-day]] — Homestar, dressed as a newsboy, is seen selling newspapers. The headlines include "Halloween Night missing", "Citizens mobilize to save holiday", and "In unrelated news, this newsboy get-up is not my Halloween costume". Later, [[Homsar]] is also seen with newspapers in an Easter egg, this time with the headline "Eggs Tree! Eggs Tree!"
	* Email [[underlings]] — Strong Bad is again reading Da NewsPapes in the bathroom. The two articles report that a sports player signed a major contract, and that global relations set box office records this weekend.		* Email [[underlings]] — Strong Bad is again reading Da NewsPapes in the bathroom. The two articles report that a sports player signed a major contract, and that global relations set box office records this weekend.
	** This article was later seen in [[hremail 3184]].		** This article was later seen in [[hremail 3184]].
	* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Homestar pulls out a newspaper called ~~"~~The Imaginary Newspapes~~"~~, which states that ~~"~~the Marzipan was stunned when she woke to find a totally legit donut enterprise operating out of her own dang kitchen~~"~~. The term ~~"~~The Marzipan~~"~~ refers to [[Integral Articles\|integral articles]].		* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Homestar pulls out a newspaper called "The Imaginary Newspapes", which states that "the Marzipan was stunned when she woke to find a totally legit donut enterprise operating out of her own dang kitchen". The term "The Marzipan" refers to [[Integral Articles\|integral articles]].

	~~<span id~~=~~"see-also"></span>~~		== See Also ==
	=~~= <span class="mw-headline">~~ See Also ~~</span>~~ ==

	* [[Periodicals]]		* [[Periodicals]]
			[[Category:Object running gags]]
	~~<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">~~

	~~<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">~~

	~~[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">~~[[Category:~~Object running gags\|~~Object running gags]]~~</span>~~

	~~</div>~~

	~~</div>~~

imported>HRWikiMirrorBot: Imported from hrwiki.org via Wayback Machine (HTML→wikitext)

2026-07-14T01:53:31Z

Imported from hrwiki.org via Wayback Machine (HTML→wikitext)

New page

<div class="thumb tright">

<div class="thumbinner" style="width:252px;">

[[File:Newspaper.PNG|[[File:Newspaper.PNG|250px|thumb]]]]
<div class="thumbcaption">

<div class="magnify">

[[File:Newspaper.PNG|[[File:magnify-clip.png|15px|thumb]]]]

</div>
The Local Newspapes

</div>

</div>

</div>
'''News articles''' are often used for humor purposes in [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] cartoons. They are usually written about bizarre stories and occurrences that are largely irrelevant to the toon's main plot. Some must be decompiled or viewed as a Flash file to be read. Several of the articles contain some variation of the line "His mother was very proud".

<span id="appearances"></span>
== <span class="mw-headline">Appearances</span> ==

* Email [[sb email 22]] — As well as an article about [[Strong Bad]] offending the royal family in England, the issue of ''[[The Guardian]]'' that appears at the end of the email also includes stories titled "Cricket Still Pretty Weird Sport", "[[The King of Town|King of Town]] Eats Treacle", and "Officer Actually Named Bobby".
* Email [[privileges]] — In [[Fretmagic]] magazine, there is an article about [[Gary Palaroncini]] mastering "the hardest chord ever", which apparently requires 11 fingers to perform.
* Email [[stunt double]] — There is a newspaper called [[The Local Newspapes]] that has an article about a polar bear who wandered from the North Pole and interrupted a baseball game, injuring [[Mark Lemke]]. The headline is covered with a taped-on piece of notebook paper that reads "[[Lowercase i's|MiSSiNG]] TAPE STOLEN!!! [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] seen on the case. For real."
** This same newspaper appears in [[dangeresque 3]], with the notebook paper reading "[[Perducci|PERDUCCI]] IS THE BAD GUY".
* Email [[colonization]] — In the book about the colonization of [[Strong Badia]], Strong Bad is seen reading a newspaper with a "RENT FOR SALE!" ad and a page saying "[[Homestar Runner|Homestar]] declares [[Eggs|eggs]] not a fruit."
* [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — [[Marzipan]] is reading a newspaper titled "The Latest News", which features an "article" about crime possibly being on the rise in [[Free Country, USA]]. The article is repeated 8 times in order to fill up the paper.
** This newspaper appears again in [[secret recipes]].
* Email [[time capsule]] — There is a current newspaper clipping with an article about a boy named Geoff, who saved a turtle named Slowbie by finding it in his shoe.
* Email [[portrait]] — A "rich-guy newspaper" resembling [[The Wall Street Journal]] is shown, with stories about mulligatawny stew rising in the markets and about large cell phones making a 4th quarter comeback as the "it" toy of the [[Decemberween]] season. A lower headline reads "<u>Banks have [[Unnecessary Quotation Marks|'money']]</u>".
* Email [[candy product]] — Strong Bad is reading Da NewsPapes in the [[Bathroom of the Brothers Strong|bathroom]]. The two shallow articles visible on the papes employ many words to say, essentially, that "stuff continues to happen in the world" and "famous people did some stuff".
* [[Happy Hallow-day]] — Homestar, dressed as a newsboy, is seen selling newspapers. The headlines include "Halloween Night missing", "Citizens mobilize to save holiday", and "In unrelated news, this newsboy get-up is not my Halloween costume". Later, [[Homsar]] is also seen with newspapers in an Easter egg, this time with the headline "Eggs Tree! Eggs Tree!"
* Email [[underlings]] — Strong Bad is again reading Da NewsPapes in the bathroom. The two articles report that a sports player signed a major contract, and that global relations set box office records this weekend.
** This article was later seen in [[hremail 3184]].
* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Homestar pulls out a newspaper called "The Imaginary Newspapes", which states that "the Marzipan was stunned when she woke to find a totally legit donut enterprise operating out of her own dang kitchen". The term "The Marzipan" refers to [[Integral Articles|integral articles]].

<span id="see-also"></span>
== <span class="mw-headline"> See Also </span> ==

* [[Periodicals]]

<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">

<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">

[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:Object running gags|Object running gags]]</span>

</div>

</div>

News Articles - Revision history

imported>HRWikiMirrorBot: Reimported from hrwiki.org Wayback HTML→wikitext (full reconvert)

imported>HRWikiMirrorBot: Imported from hrwiki.org via Wayback Machine (HTML→wikitext)