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"What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways? A Bubsness?"

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''From [[Strong Badia the Free]]:''

<blockquote>'''STRONG BAD:''' You're a shady, shady character, Bubs. 
'''BUBS:''' It's cool in the shade!</blockquote>
[[Bubs]] has been known to engage in all forms of '''shady, crooked, and sometimes downright illegal business practices''', from simple overpricing to trading in stolen organs.

{| id="toc" class="wikitable toc" summary="Contents"
|-
| <div id="toctitle">


== Contents ==

</div>
* [#Bait_and_Switch 1 Bait and Switch]
* [#Counterfeiting 2 Counterfeiting]
* [#Debt_Evasion 3 Debt Evasion]
* [#Defective_and_Substandard_Goods 4 Defective and Substandard Goods]
* [#Embezzlement 5 Embezzlement]
* [#Evidence_Tampering 6 Evidence Tampering]
* [#False_Advertising 7 False Advertising]
* [#Fraud 8 Fraud]
* [#Hacking 9 Hacking]
* [#Harmful_Goods 10 Harmful Goods]
* [#Health_Code_Violations 11 Health Code Violations]
* [#Human_Trafficking 12 Human Trafficking]
* [#Illegal_Dumping 13 Illegal Dumping]
* [#Information_Mining_and_Spamming 14 Information Mining and Spamming]
* [#Intentionally_Poor_Crowd_Control 15 Intentionally Poor Crowd Control]
* [#Invasion_of_Privacy 16 Invasion of Privacy]
* [#Legal_Malpractice 17 Legal Malpractice]
* [#Loan_Sharking 18 Loan Sharking]
* [#Mistreatment_of_Employees 19 Mistreatment of Employees]
* [#Operating_Without_a_Valid_License 20 Operating Without a Valid License]
* [#Organ_Trafficking 21 Organ Trafficking]
* [#Overpricing 22 Overpricing]
* [#Piracy 23 Piracy]
* [#Preventing_the_Lawful_Burial_of_a_Body 24 Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body]
* [#Smuggling 25 Smuggling]
* [#Stolen_Goods 26 Stolen Goods]
* [#Weapons_Dealing 27 Weapons Dealing]
* [#Wildlife_Trafficking 28 Wildlife Trafficking]
* [#Generic_Mentions_of_Shadiness 29 Generic Mentions of Shadiness]
* [#See_Also 30 See Also]

|}


== Bait and Switch ==

* Email [[different town]] — [[Strong Bad]] imagines that Bubs would use ''imitation'' [[Chocolate|chocolate]] for his [[Bubs's Flamethrowers|flamethrowers]] that shoot chocolate hundred-dollar bills.
* Email [[theme park]] — Bubs tells [[Pom Pom]] that he can only win prizes if he gets the rings ''inside'' the [[Cold One|Xtra Cold Ones]] bottle after Pom Pom flawlessly threw three rings over it.
* [[Halloween Potion-ma-jig]] — When [[Homestar Runner]] asks how much Bubs's stirring utensils cost, Bubs says that "they're free, but you gotta ''earn'' 'em!" Homestar says, "That doesn't sound free at all," to which Bubs replies, "Well you just gotta ''earn'' 'em."
* Email [[looking old]] — A sign at [[Bubs' Concession Stand]] says "<s>1</s>0% OFF ALL iTems!"
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2]] — Bubs offers 10% off at the concession stand and immediately follows it with the disclaimer "discount will not be honored".
* [[Most in the Graveyard]] — Bubs admires his great-great-grandpappy's cousin Harold who "discovered the bait and switch".
* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs claims his [[Doughnuts|doughnuts]] fight cavities and clean teeth before quickly adding "The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statement."


== Counterfeiting ==

* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs implies that his black market sells fake IDs.


== Debt Evasion ==

* Email [[lackey]] — Bubs slams the shutters when Strong Bad with [[Doreauxgard]] pretends to be from the collection agency.


== Defective and Substandard Goods ==

* Email [[12:00]] — Bubs, hired to make the clock on Strong Bad's [[VCR]] work, instead [[Duct Tape|duct tapes]] an [[Clock Radio|alarm clock]] to the top (after first attempting to duct tape [[The Cheat]] to it).
* [[King of Townmail]] — According to the page title, Bubs sold the broken [[Tandy 400]] to [[The King of Town]] for $900 and that it's "slightly not-working".
* Email [[privileges]], [[Homestar Presents: Presents]], and Email [[bike thief]] — The slogan for [[Bubs' Old Pizza]] calls it "really old".
* Email [[virus]] — Bubs puts the "slightly shotgunned" and "like used" [[Compy 386]] up for sale.
* [[Homestar Presents: Presents]] — Bubs has a rusty steak knife in his box of 'aught four [[Crap|crap]].
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs sells Strong Bad a defective Clockwork Strong Bad; however, Bubs appears frustrated to find the "cheap, foreign-made" souvenir malfunctioning, and decides to sell it half-off.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2019|5 Jul 2019]]) — Strong Bad suggests that Bubs' power in [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] would be to sell discount cottages that burn themselves down due to faulty wiring.


== Embezzlement ==

* [[Strong Sad's Lament]] — Bubs's new year resolution is to stop embezzling money from himself.
* [[Ever and More]] — [[Homestar]] asks Bubs to talk about "shiny new ways to misappropriate funds". Bubs then proceeds to describe buying a [[Wetski|Jet Ski]] with the [[Broternal Order of Different Helmets]]'s money, crashed and broke his shin, and began spending $50 a tube on [[BUBRUB!|rubbing ointment]].
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs says that [[Blatant Lies|he is definitely not embezzling thousands of dollars]] from [[Club Technochocolate]].
* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Bubs casually mutters that he's skimming 10% of the profits of the battle of the bands behind Strong Bad's back.


== Evidence Tampering ==

* [[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — When Homestar approaches, Bubs is burning an envelope labeled "Exhibit A" and later tries to sell him a pancreas contained in a box labeled "Exhibit B".
* [[DNA Evidence]] — Bubs sells [[Marzipan]]'s DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a [[Snow Cones|snow cone]], and returns to her a test tube labeled "tampered with".
* Email [[buried]] — Bubs tries to cover up his apparent burial of "a fella named Rich". ''(See also [#Preventing_the_Lawful_Burial_of_a_Body #Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body])''
* [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — Bubs sells Homestar a 50 gallon drum of bleach, a 50 gallon drum of sawblades, and a 50 gallon drum of bodybags, in order to destroy the evidence of him "killing Pom Pom". He then advises Homestar to establish a false alibi for his "crime".


== False Advertising ==

* Email [[unused emails]] — The Free Weekly Spamvertisement promotes Scotch Tape, [[Ketchup|ketchup]], and three bean salad as herbal supplements.
* [[Broken Compy Menu]] — Bubs sells the shotgunned [[Compy 386]] to Homestar saying it's a low-priced automobile.
* Email [[technology]] — Bubs sells "wireless extension cords" and stresses that they're "[[Allegedly Real Things|existent]]".
* [[Happy Hallow-day]] — Bubs advertises black spray-paint as spray-on Halloween night, sunglasses as Halloween night-vision goggles and "Hollerin' Jimmy's Hovercraft Kit" as a "Halloween Night hovercraft kit".
* Email [[the chair]] — Bubs tries to sell a box of chicken beaks as a chair.
* [[Ever and More]] — Bubs sells the minutes of The [[Broternal Order of Different Helmets]]'s last meeting to [[Homsar|third world countries]] as rollover minutes.
* [[Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar]] — Bubs sells Marzipan [[Eggs|eggs]] as "[[Organic|organic]] [[Batteries|batteries]]".
* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs lies about the teeth-cleaning and cavity-fighting abilities of his doughnuts. He also says that he has them made in a third world country named "Homemáde" so he can legally print "from homemade" on the package.
* [[Flash is Dead!]] — Strong Bad complains that the fallout shelter was advertised as being Coach Z free.


== Fraud ==

* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs has apparently sold Homestar "[[Questionable Services|questionable medical coverage]]".


== Hacking ==

* [[8-Bit is Enough]] — Bubs bypasses the region locking on Strong Bad's [[TROGDOR!]] arcade machine.


== Harmful Goods ==

* [[The Best Decemberween Ever]] — Bubs has a [[Strong Sad]] voodoo doll on sale, which even Homestar questions.
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0]] — Bubs has a tainted candy sellback day on Friday.
* Email [[myths & legends]] — Bubs states that the [[Bear Holding a Shark]] shot glasses are popular with kids.
* Email [[the chair]] — The chairs that Bubs sells Strong Bad and Strong Sad (respectively [[Le Restige]] and the [[Styleron Ecochair]]) end up leaving them unable to "feel [their] parts".
* [[DNA Evidence]] — Bubs sells the [[DNA Evidence (running gag)|DNA evidence]] to Strong Bad in a snow cone.
* Email [[licensed]] — Homestar discovers that the piñatas that Bubs sells are full of broken glass after getting a face-full of it, and the Strong Bad ferret [[Ointment|ointment]] causes [[The Cheat]] to inflate like a balloon.
* [[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs implies that the [[Baloney Sammich Truck|baloney sandwiches]] that he has been selling had expired [[Mayonnaise|mayonnaise]].
* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — Bubs lists tainted candy as a variety of candy he sells and gives chocolate-covered packing peanuts in exchange for coupons.


== Health Code Violations ==

* Email [[no loafing]] — The lunch specials that Bubs sells are already eaten.
* Email [[the chair]] — Strong Bad describes the box of chicken beaks Bubs attempts to sell him as "anthrax-y".
* [[One Two, One Two]] — Bubs makes sausages with a tennis ball and a box of [[General Tso's Chicken]] (including the box).
* [[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs sells a sandwich with a bite taken out of it to an oblivious Homestar.
* [[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs hides and pretends to be closed when the health inspector arrives.
* [[Flash is Dead!]] — Bubs' Fallout Shelter lacks proper toilet facilities, using empty cans as makeshift latrines.


== Human Trafficking ==

* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Bubs says that he accepts first-born children as payment.


== Illegal Dumping ==

* Email [[buried]] — Bubs buries "in'''toxic'''atingly good" waste in [[Strong Badia]].


== Information Mining and Spamming ==

* Email [[unused emails]] — Bubs buys, as claimed, roughly 5000 email addresses at $0.25 apiece from Strong Bad (roughly $1250 total) to use in his weekly [[Spam|spamvertisments]].


== Intentionally Poor Crowd Control ==

* Email [[local news]] — Bubs tricks Homestar, Marzipan, and the King of Town into queuing outside the Concession Stand (and paying for it) for no reason.
* [[Toikey TV]] — The sale advertised by Bubs, "Bubs Friday", has a designated time for "Shovin' and Tramplin'". He also encourages mothers to fight each other and even draw blood.
* [[A Decemberween Mackerel]] — Bubs intentionally has a queue last for 3 miles or 18 days, whichever comes first.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2017|24 Nov 2017]]) — "Bubs Friday" 2017 ends with shoppers trapped in riot foam.


== Invasion of Privacy ==

* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — Bubs casually tells Strong Bad that he reads all [[Strong Bad Email|his emails]].


== Legal Malpractice ==

* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — Bubs represents Coach Z in court; however, he bases his defense on dinosaurs after confusing works by author [[Jurassic Park|Michael Crichton]] with those by author John Grisham.


== Loan Sharking ==

* Email [[other days]] — Bubs threatens to turn Strong Bad over to a "cut off your toes"-style collections agency if he doesn't pay up.


== Mistreatment of Employees ==

* Email [[part-time job]] — Strong Bad mentions that Bubs made him pay for his [[Mascot Costumes|mascot costume]].
* [[On Break]] — Bubs only gives one smoking, pee, coffee, and maternity leave break each per day. He also doesn't allow Pom Pom to take breaks as he is not in the union.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2019|2 May 2019]]) — Bubs pokes the person picking out shirts ("90% likely Strong Sad") in the eyes to ensure that the selection is random.


== Operating Without a Valid License ==

* [[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — Bubs claims to be a doctor despite his "doctor" card clearly being only for VCR repairs and fashion consultation.
* [[Senorial Day]] — Bubs's entrepreneur license has "SUSPENDED" stamped across it.
* Email [[licensed]] — Bubs sells ''unlicensed'' unlicensed Strong Bad merchandise.
* [[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs mentions that the tag and license he has been operating under are both expired.
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs hints that his black market sells unlicensed merchandise.
* [[Halloween Hide & Seek]] — Bubs has been operating an illegal [[Rats|rat]] casino out of a hidden chamber in the [[King of Town's Castle]] for years.


== Organ Trafficking ==

* [[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — Bubs offers to sell [[Homestar]] a spare pancreas.
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs operates a black market out behind [[Concessionstantinople]] dealing in organs along with other illegal items.
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — Bubs sells materials for the purpose of illegal organ trafficking as part of updating his store to be "organic".


== Overpricing ==

* [[King of Townmail]] — According to the page title, Bubs sold the broken [[Tandy 400]] to [[The King of Town]] for $900.
* Email [[local news]] — A sign at the stand says, "Wait in Line: $5".
* Email [[pom pom]] — Bubs charges Strong Bad $5 for a "face mashing" and $10 for a "severe pummeling" from Pom Pom.
* Email [[part-time job]] — Bubs attempts to charge Coach Z and Pom Pom $50 then $60 for a picture with the [[Tragic Clown Dog]].
* [[Store Thank You Messages]] — In Bubs's message, he thanks the customer for purchasing, and then charges an extra $5 for the thank you itself.
* Email [[secret identity]] — Bubs charges Strong Bad (as [[Secret Identities|Mr. Tip Tappers]]) $900 for a room. Also, Bubs's guestbook notes that he accepted double payment from [[Secret Identities|Mr. Dee Williams]] (Homestar).
* Email [[myths & legends]] — Bubs demands an extra $20 from [[Strong Bad]] after he comments that the [[Bear Holding a Shark]] [[Ice Cream|ice cream]] he bought looks more like Morgan Freeman.
* Email [[nightlife]] — Bubs sells Strong Bad an eyedropper-full amount of "Pink Elephant Pants" for $17.50, which is apparently less than he usually charges.
* [[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs attempt to sell [[Coach Z]] a [[Bubs's Napkins|napkin]] for $32.
* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Bubs charges Strong Bad "one big sack of cash" for repairs to the [[FunMachine]] and after the repair job, Strong Bad complains that "Bubs totally ripped [him] off, man! Like, more than usual."
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2]] — Bubs claims that the late fee for a [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103184 V.I. Warshawski] DVD is $3 a day because it still counts as a new release, despite its early '90s theatrical release and 2002 DVD release (7 years before the toon).
* [[Record Store Day]] — Bubs sells [[Strong Sad]] a [[sloshy]] vinyl record for $400, which according to Strong Sad, was "on sale".
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2020|1 Jan 2020]]) — Bubs celebrates 2020 by adding $20 to every purchase.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2020|3 Nov 2020]]) — Strong Bad's BubsNet Dial-Up Cloudtastic account charges $0.99 for the first 100 pixels and $2.99 per pixel afterwards.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2020|4 Dec 2020]]) — The "[[Tape-leg|Tape Leg]] Accessory pack" for [[Strong Bad Talking Plush]] is a roll of masking tape sold for $28.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2020|6 Dec 2020]]) — Strong Bad cautions against buying [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] from online resellers, stating that they jack up the price to "Bubs level".
* [[Index Page]] — In the current version (as of the [[Post-Flash Site Update|post-Flash site update]]), Bubs charges the user $5 per click when he is clicked.


== Piracy ==

* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs hints that his [[Black Market|black market]] sells pirated DVDs.


== Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body ==

* Email [[buried]] — Bubs has apparently buried "a fella named Rich" in the past. ''(See also [#Evidence_Tampering #Evidence Tampering])''


== Smuggling ==

* [[SBCG4AP Tutorial]] — When Strong Bad comments that Bubs has gotten fat, he replies that he hasn't and is in fact just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under his shirt.
* [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — While Bubs was imprisoned in what would eventually become the Concession Stand, he sold himself [[Hot Dogs|hot dogs]] with files in them.


== Stolen Goods ==

* [[Cool Things]] — Bubs claims that he's closed and only gives Homestar the [[Paint|paint]] and [[Cool Shades|shades]] when he asks Bubs to steal them for him, asserting that he never passes up a chance to stick it to the man.
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs's black market trades in organs of questionable origin and illegally obtained cultural artifacts. He trades Strong Sad's stolen Pretendix for an illegally excavated piece of pottery to Strong Bad.
* [[Where My Hat Is At? (toon)|Where My Hat Is At?]] — Bubs has Marzipan's hair on sale as a "[[Wigs|wig]]" which he unabashedly says is stolen.


== Weapons Dealing ==

* Email [[different town]] — Strong Bad imagines that Bubs would give away [[Bubs's Flamethrowers|flamethrowers]] that shoot (imitation) chocolate hundred-dollar bills.
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs operates a black market out behind [[Concessionstantinople]] dealing in weapons, like bazooka flamethrowers that throw throwing stars, along with other illegal items.


== Wildlife Trafficking ==

* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — Strong Bad says that the last time he tried to navigate Bubs' Tele-stand, he ended up with a crate of rhino horns (though according to Strong Bad they were from a species not considered endangered).


== Generic Mentions of Shadiness ==

* Email [[local news]] (DVD commentary) — Strong Bad says that Bubs is helping him with [[Action Cool 5]] as community service. When [[Mike Chapman]] asks what he did, Strong Bad replies that he is not supposed to say.
* [[Broken Compy Menu]] — Homestar asks, "What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways? A Bubsness?"
* [[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — Homestar asks if Bubs is an unethical quack, to which he responds, "the most quackinest."
* [[Happy Fireworks]] — Bubs complains about how long the setup for the fireworks is taking, saying "I got peoples to rip off!"
* Email [[isp]] — When Strong Bad confronts him with "throttling [Strong Bad] down", Bubs responds that throttling down is not one of the 99 ways he rips Strong Bad off.
* Email [[licensed]] — Bubs says that the stuff that he sells in the Concession Stand is of worse quality than his shady bootleg operation.
* Email [[buried]] (DVD commentary) — [[The Brothers Chaps]] say that they are trying to remember all the "sketchy things" that Bubs does.
* [[Play Date]] — Bubs briefly spends time in federal prison for unexplained reasons.
* [[The Baloneyman]] — At the end, Homestar says farewell to the "[["Man" pronounced as "m'n"|baloneym'n]]", adding "may your warbly theme song serve as a reminder that you probably have a really sketchy past."
* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — Strong Bad wonders why it's called "Bubs' Concession Stand" as "Bubs never conceded anything in his whole miserable gigantic-mark-up life!"
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — Strong Bad says that Bubs is a "shady, shady character", to which Bubs responds that it's cool in the shade.
* [[Doomy Tales of the Macabre]] — Bubs describes his wallet as the one that says "bad business practices".
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2019|23 Jun 2019]]) — Bubs stashes several stacks of dollar bills in the ceiling of the Concession Stand, to which Strong Bad writes "Keep it shady, Bubs."
** This animation is reused in an Easter egg in the Flash version of the Strong Bad Email [[parenting]]. In this version, he is also seen stashing Homestar's severed leg.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2021|8 May 2021]]) — Strong Bad asks if Bubs was involved in a fan getting a bunch of Cheat Commandos figures instead of the Season 2 figures.
* [[@StrongBadActual]] tweet ([[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2022|25 Apr 2022]]) — Strong Bad claims to not trust Bubs's customer service.


== See Also ==

* [[Black Market]]
* [[Coach Z's Problems]]
* [[Crimes Committed by Strong Bad]]
* [[Crime and Punishment]]

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[[File:HeadlessSB.png|[[File:HeadlessSB.png|20px|thumb|INCOMPLETE'D!]]]] ''This list is [[Category:Incomplete Lists|incomplete]]. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by [[Bubs's Shady Business Practices|adding content]].''

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Bubs's Shady Business Practices - Revision history

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